


Lemon Fiasco

by YustinaMishka



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Harry Potter, Domestic Fluff, Draco hates lemons with a passion, Draco is the biggest drama queen, Fluff and Humor, Healer Draco Malfoy, M/M, Magical Accidents, Post-Canon, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 01:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12288081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YustinaMishka/pseuds/YustinaMishka
Summary: Being married to Harry Potter meant doing a lot of mental things but Draco didn't consider it involved shoving his most hated fruit down his throat.





	Lemon Fiasco

**Author's Note:**

> An old fic which was inspired by my Draco's blatant hatred for lemons. I think this was written after the key lime pie debacle. It was horrifying and hilarious... at least for me.

“Draco!”

That was the only warning the blond got before a huge puff of floo powder and years of accumulated dust covered half of the drawing room. Draco wrinkled his nose in disdain as he marked his place in his book and stood up from a rather worn out armchair.

“Love the new look, Potter” Draco teased as he loomed over the messy tangle of rug, messenger bag, and a lump of Harry Potter.

“Charming” Harry pouted and pathetically sneezed. Honestly, there should be no way a well-known middle aged auror could look less than intimidating but Harry made it seem so easy. The black haired man was trying to untangle himself from the mess he created and Draco could only snort at the scene.

“Here,” Draco offered, “Let me just—hold still, git! I’m trying to help. No—yes, okay”

Harry gasped and wriggled out of the dusty rug and almost stepped on his fallen glasses. With a swish of a wand, Draco straightened out Harry’s clothes and cleaned up the mix of ash and dust. “What’s gotten your knickers in a twist anyway?” the blond drawled while placing Harry’s glasses on top of the specky git’s nose “You’re usually not this enthusiastic when you get home.... unless promised a good shag”.

A red blush spread across Harry’s face before he playfully pushed Draco off of him. “Shut it, Potter” Harry grinned and walked towards the nearest couch.

Draco only managed an eye roll before he sat himself down next to his husband who never failed to get under his skin.

“So I met with George and Ron—“

“Merlin, this cannot be good” Draco deadpanned.

Harry held back a laugh and shoved Draco to the side, “It’s not always that bad!”

“Not bad?” the blond retorted with mock horror, “Remember the last time I had to physically wrestle with that—“

“We’re not talking about that!” Harry screeched in repulsion and shame.

Draco grinned smugly and dodged a flying pillow, “Oh no, of course we have to! You were especially embarrassed to go to St. Mungo’s to get it off your arse. It was hilarious, really”. Harry made an exaggerated frown and wandlessly sent a mild electric shock that frizzled Draco’s hair.

The Slytherin looked personally offended and kicked Harry’s side “Fine, you toddler! I’ll drop it! Stop doing that!”

With a triumphant smirk, Harry helped tame Draco’s hair back to its original state. Draco still wasn’t pleased with his husband but at least his hair won’t stay frizzled until tomorrow morning which is plagued with the joy of having a meeting about a horribly splinched/poked with a dozen hexes fuckwit who has been stuck in St. Mungo’s since Merlin was born.

“Anyway,” Harry interrupted while searching for something in his messenger bag, “George had this brilliant idea to help you with your problem”

“My problem?” Draco raised a pale brow at the thought. He absolutely did not have a problem... except maybe trying to control Harry’s growing obsession with quidditch quality brooms and specialized artist quills.

“Here” The messy brunette cheerfully grinned and pushed a bag of what felt like huge lumps underneath Draco’s fingers. A very bad aura reached the Slytherin’s gut when he touched the blasted thing and now he wants to take back what he told Luna a week ago. Draco eyed the bag and carefully unwrapped it until the painfully familiar smell reached his delicate nose and he almost tossed the whole bag up in the air.

“LEMONS!? HARRY JAMES POTTER, THIS IS GOING TOO FAR!” he growled at his sheepishly looking husband who looked like he mistakenly startled a dragon.

“Alright, calm down”

“I refuse to calm down in the presence of such— _evil!_ You know how I feel about those abominations, Potter! You’re worse than the Dark Lord!”

Harry rolled his eyes “You’re being overdramatic. Besides, you haven’t let me finish what I’m trying to say”

Draco looked indignant, frightfully red in the face too, but he let Harry continue but not without giving Harry a piercing glare.

“George came up with this pill,” Harry continued, “it’s supposed to cancel out the flavours that you hate the most and turn it into something sweet”. Of course, Draco didn’t look impressed. Although the idea was bloody brilliant, he knew what’s coming next and he’d rather hex himself than ingest the citrusy doom that is sitting on their beloved couch. He’d have to double clean that later.

“You’re going to make me eat the lemons”

“I’m going to make you eat lemons” Harry repeated with a grin and Draco knew he was utterly screwed.

A faint clank of small pills woke Draco up from his horrified daze. Harry popped one into his mouth _(without drinking water! That monster)_ and helpfully placed a pill on top of Draco’s open palm.

“I swear, I’ll make it worth your while” the specky git grinned conspiratorially.

Draco sniffed and rose from his seat to get some water from the kitchen. Of course, he could have just summoned a glass and a pitcher but there was no way he was going to allow Harry to get his way quickly.

“This is how I’ll die, wanker” Draco gritted out as he tried to swallow the pill.

Harry made a humming noise, “You’ve put worse things in your mouth”

“Fuck you” the blond hissed and returned to his seat, “Let’s get this over with before I get sent to Azkaban for hexing my husband into the next year”. It’s slightly helpful that the Gryffindor looks absolutely apologetic about what’s going to happen but the git’s stupid bravery and complete trust keeps him from backing out. Draco just had to marry the one who is completely off his rocker.

The sound of a perfectly controlled _diffindo_ and the squelch of the demon fruit did not help ease Draco’s queasiness. Merlin, he really did hate the fruit since he was a child and it resulted to a lot of bribing and bargaining on his parents’ part. Obviously, the older Malfoys weren’t as good at manipulating their son as they were with twisting other people’s will.

_Harry must be some sort of natural imperius curse then._

“Ready?” Harry breathed as he handed the other half of the sliced lemon. The juice of the fruit dripped down Harry’s fingers and Draco was half decided to ban the twit from their bedroom and deprive him of a brilliant Malfoy arse.

Draco grimaced and picked the offending fruit using only the tips of his fingers. “The older Weasley prat better be ready if this fails because I’m going to make sure his wife will divorce him since he’ll be having a brand new micropenis”

Harry choked back a laugh and tried his best to give the seething blond his winning smile. “Cheers”

“Up your arse, Potty” Draco replied and sucked on the fruit while trying to go to a happy place.

This is it.

Draco can feel his heart stopping and his skin trying to wriggle out of his being. The Slytherin was waiting for the expected failure of the pill and lots of screaming on his part but...

Huh.

It was... sweet.

The lemon tasted like fresh honeydew.

Sure enough, Harry was tearing his face apart with his grin and Draco felt butterflies in his stomach. Damn this man for still being potent despite their one year of marriage. Perhaps this is more than half of the reason why Draco even considered giving this a try. Harry just knew what buttons to push for the Malfoy heir to do stupid things.

“Mine tastes a bit like berries” Harry chuckled as he licked his fingers clean.

Draco scowled at his libido for reacting to his husband licking off lemon juice from his fingers but _damn_.

“Alright, alright” Draco relented, “you bloody win with your ingenious abomination”

“Harry Potter is always right”

“Sure you are... except when you’re not” Draco snorted.

“Well, fine. Most of the time?” The blond rolled his eyes and absentmindedly continued to suck on the fruit because he’ll be damned before he says no to honeydew but then—

“Draco? What’s wrong?” The sour tangy taste of the lemon punched back Draco’s breath and he felt like he was choking on everything vile and disgusting in the world. He quickly snapped his eyes shut and curled his fingers into his palms, the other hand trying desperately to grab on to something to ground him.

“Bloody hell! Spit it out! Draco!” Harry panicked and was too late to notice that Draco made a grab for his crotch.

The blond squeezed tightly and Harry was sent reeling in pain as his mouth tried to come up with words or a scream but he just looked like a fish out of water. Draco was still unrelenting and Harry felt himself passing out because of the pain. Auror instincts came in and he tried to make a grab for the pill box and popped one into his mouth. There’s no use in trying to talk some sense into Draco when lemon is involved so he’ll have to force it down the other’s throat. Thanking the gods that his pain tolerance is above normal, Harry tried to pry the tight hand away as he grabbed Draco’s jaw to face him.

In one fast swoop, Harry’s lips collided with Draco’s and forced the tight lipped Slytherin to open his mouth and allow Harry’s tongue to slip in the half chewed pill. Draco shivered and his muscles relaxed at the familiar scent and pressure. _Harry was kissing him_. And the taste of the lemon was replaced by a mix of watermelon and berries. The both of them can’t remember how it started but the impromptu snogging session was very much welcomed.

Draco was shuddering and moaning halfway before Harry decided to stop and nip him on the nose.

“Ouch! What the—“

“That’s for almost destroying my dick, _Potter_ ” Harry smiled and rubbed Draco’s hip bones,“Sorry for the pill thing. I didn’t know its effect would fade that fast”

“Mmmm. Make it up to me?”

“I’m starting to think the pill might be an aphrodisiac too”

Draco frowned and tugged Harry’s tie, “Would you rather help me finish writing letters to the other famil— “

“Okay, no.” Harry breathed out, “Sex is good. I mean really good”

Draco smirked and let himself be kissed, “Glad we have an agreement”.


End file.
